He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
