Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
