...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
