You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
