I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
