If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
