So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
