I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This house was built for laser tag.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
