Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
