it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
