I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
