Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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