Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
