No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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