FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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