I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
