Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
