your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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