remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
