There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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