Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize