hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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