dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Text me some of your sweat
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
