I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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