we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
