we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
