i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My ATM looks so different sober.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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