It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
