I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
