highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
