We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I want to be your penis for a week.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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