it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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