great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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