I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
