dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Drunk is a universal language darling
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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