I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
