Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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