is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
