If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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