I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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