I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
