he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
