A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
