loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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