How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize