they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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