I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
