so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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