How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
