apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He better not be in your backpack
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Randomize
