I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
