I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
