I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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