At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
