So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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