time to smoke my breakfast
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I understand Curling. That high.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
