You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
