look no pants
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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