He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
