Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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