dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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