I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
