thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
