4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize