a queef is a wish your heart makes.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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