last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
