my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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